𧨠CBS Canceled Stephen ColbertâAnd Trumpâs Dancing Like the Petty Little Goblin He Is
By The Mayor of Funkytown â Political Writer, Resistance Organizer, Truth Teller
CBS just killed The Late Show. Not just Stephen Colbert, but the whole damn thing. The desk, the monologue, the nightly eviscerations of fascismâall of it, tossed in the dumpster like a wet cardboard cutout of James Corden.
They're calling it a cost-cutting decision.
Yeah. And I'm the Queen of Englandâs emotional support possum.
This was a surrender. A calculated, spineless, corporate white flag. Colbert was too smart, too biting, and too real for the new American reality: where the president is a paper-skinned narcissist with a personality like spoiled deli meatâand apparently, CBS is too afraid to keep triggering his little baby feelings.
Because the second this news hit the wires, guess who started drooling with glee?
You know who.
𤥠Trump: The World's Oldest Toddler
Donald J. Trump is celebrating Stephen Colbertâs cancellation like itâs Christmas morning and someone just gifted him a cheeseburger stuffed with classified documents.
He took to Truth Social, his knockoff Twitter for fascists and flat-earthers, and posted:
âColbert FIRED! Nobody watched. Another loser gone. Maybe theyâll bring back real comedy instead of TRUMP HATE!!â
This, from the guy who once called himself a âvery stable geniusâ after misspelling âhonoredâ in four different time zones.
Letâs be honest: Trumpâs obsession with comedians who mock him is one of the most on-brand things about him. You could write a PhD dissertation titled âLaughing While Orange: A Case Study in Fragile Autocracy.â
Remember when he:
Had a full-blown tantrum because Alec Baldwin played him too accurately on SNL?
Tried to get Jimmy Kimmel fired for telling mean jokes?
Suggested that late-night comedy should be âreined inâ by the FCC?
Hid in Mar-a-Lago for days after Michelle Wolf roasted his administration at the White House Correspondents' Dinner?
Stormed out of interviews the second someone asked a real questionâor wore a tie better than him?
This man has the emotional resilience of a half-inflated pool float. If you slapped him with a punchline, heâd sue you for âmicroaggression and disrespect toward great leaders.â
đ What Kind of President Celebrates Canceling a Comedian?
Seriouslyâthink about it.
What kind of president gets excited about a TV host losing their job?
A weak one.
A petty one.
A banana republic dictator in a suit that fits like a hotel shower curtain.
Can you imagine Abraham Lincoln fist-pumping over some guy losing his radio show for making fun of his hat? Can you picture Barack Obama gloating because a YouTuber did an impression of his ears?
No. Because normal presidents have at least some tolerance for criticism.
But Trump? Trump treats satire like itâs a war crime.
He once said Colbertâs jokes were âfilthyâ and should be âlooked into by the FCC.â Dude thinks the First Amendment is a restaurant discount he can revoke.
â ď¸ The Big Picture: Comedy Is the Canary in the Coal Mine
This isnât just about Colbert.
This is about powerâand the lengths to which fascists will go to make sure the only voices on air are sycophants, propagandists, and rage-screaming bigots with discount promo codes.
Colbert wasnât âjustâ a comedian. He was one of the few nightly truth-tellers left on corporate airwaves. A guy who mocked liars, called out BS, and reminded Americans that laughing at fascism is both cathartic and necessary.
Now he's gone. And you better believe Trump and his pals are taking notes.
They want a country where:
No one mocks Dear Leader.
No one exposes the con.
And no one dares to be funny unless the punchline ends in âwoke liberals bad.â
đ¤ A Parting Message to the Pumpkin
So enjoy your little victory, Donnie.
Gloat while you can. Take your victory lap around the golf cart. Suck down a Diet Coke and post another all-caps tantrum about Colbert being a âhas-beenâ even though youâve never been funny a day in your life.
But let me leave you with this:
You didnât kill comedy. You just made it more dangerous. And dangerous comedy is the kind that sticks.
Youâre still the punchline, Mr. President. Youâre just too insecure to get the joke.
And weâll keep telling itâlouder, sharper, and with no commercial breaks.
đĽ Help me hit 2,000 resistance fighters by September 1âshare this dispatch.
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#ColbertForever #CBSIsComplicit #TrumpIsTheJoke #ComedyIsResistance #TheInsurgency