Dear MAGA: If You Know Removing Tariffs Lowers Prices… What the Hell Do You Think Adding Them Does?!
By The Unredacted Bastard | Analysis • Commentary • Profanity-Laced Truth-Telling
Pull up a chair, friend. We’re doing this one-on-one because, apparently, today is the day MAGA stumbled into Econ 101 like a toddler who found the liquor cabinet. They finally admitted — out loud, in public — that removing tariffs lowers prices. And honestly? I’m proud. Not very proud, but like you’d feel when your dog finally stops eating drywall.
But the victory lap ends here, because now comes the grown-up question.
💣 Truth Bomb: If removing tariffs lowers prices… what does adding them do?
Yeah. That’s the whole show. That’s the question. And suddenly the room goes quiet enough to hear the hum of an underpowered generator at a Trump rally.
Let’s walk through this slowly, gently, lovingly — the way you explain to your uncle that the “deep state” did not personally raise the price of his Folgers.
Tariffs aren’t magic. They’re not weapons aimed at foreign countries. They’re not some cowboy move that makes America look tough. Tariffs are just taxes, but with a belt buckle and an ego problem. And who pays taxes? Not China. Not Mexico. Not the worldwide cabal of windmill-hating, vaccine-microchip-installing villains living rent-free in MAGA heads.
You pay them.
YOU.
💣 Truth Bomb: Tariffs don’t punish foreign countries — they punish the people buying the goods. Spoiler: That’s Americans. Even the ones with red hats.
So, let me put this in the kind of clarity that should qualify as a public service announcement:
“Tariffs raise prices on American consumers.”
— Every Economist Since the Invention of Money
And here’s a bonus:
“No, seriously, tariffs raise prices. I don’t know how else to say this.”
— Literally the Same Economists
Trump’s fantasyland plan for 100% tariffs on basically everything isn’t a strategy. It’s economic arson. It’s ripping the copper wires out of your house and calling it “job creation.” It’s setting fire to your wallet and blaming the smoke on immigrants.
💣 Truth Bomb: Every time Trump screams “TARIFFS!!!” he’s actually shouting “PAY MORE, PEASANTS!!!” but with worse spelling.
Here’s the part MAGA keeps missing:
When a tariff goes up, the price tag in the store goes up. Your grocery bill goes up. Your car repairs go up. Your appliances, your electronics, your building materials, your tools — all of it. And the people cheering the loudest are the ones who feel it the hardest.
It’s financial self-harm done patriotically.
So tell me again, MAGA — loudly, proudly:
WHAT does adding tariffs do?
WHAT. DOES. IT. DO?!?!?!
Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like it just makes your life more expensive while you applaud like it’s a monster truck jumping a school bus.
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#politics #tariffs #MAGA #economy #inflation #Trump #Biden #UnredactedBastard #WTF #TruthBombs