“Illegals,” My Ass: This Country Was Built by the Very People You’re Trying to Erase
✍️ By: The Mayor of Funkytown — Patron Saint of Raised Fists, Velvet Ropes, and Calling Bullshit When Bullshit Shows Up Wearing a Diaper
When someone uses the word “illegals,” it tells me everything I need to know. They’re not interested in policy, safety, the economy, or law. They’re interested in hierarchy. Power. Superiority. And the comfort of pretending their bloodline came with a deed and a halo.
So let’s rip the Band-Aid off and pour truth directly on the wound:
This land was stolen, this wealth was looted, and this system was built by the very people the word “illegals” tries to erase.
Let’s Talk About Theft
You want to talk about “illegal”? Let’s start with the largest land grab in history. The United States exists because white settlers showed up with guns, smallpox, a superiority complex, and the gall to call it “discovery.”
What happened to Native Americans wasn’t relocation. It was genocide. Full stop.
But please—tell me more about “illegal border crossings” while standing on land taken by force, by treaty-breaking, by manifest destiny, and by centuries of violence.
Let’s Talk About Labor
After that? Enslaved Africans were chained, whipped, raped, and worked to death to build an economy they’d never benefit from. Their descendants still pay rent to systems they never signed a lease for.
White America? They’re still collecting that back-rent in generational wealth, corporate power, and inherited privilege.
Then came the immigrants.
The Chinese who built railroads and were later banned.
The Irish who dug canals and were called subhuman.
The Italians, Jews, Poles, Mexicans, Koreans, Salvadorans—all of them came chasing freedom and were met with fists, laws, and slurs.
And still they stayed. Still, they worked. Still, they built.
So don’t you dare say “illegals.”
Say undocumented if you must, but say it with respect. Because the only thing illegal about them is how this country treats them.
The Hypocrisy Is Loud Enough to Break Glass
You’ll take the fruit they pick, the homes they build, the children they care for, the hospitals they clean, the taxes they pay without benefits—and then turn around and treat them like criminals?
Let me be clear:
If your entire economic model relies on underpaying people you also want to deport, you’re not a patriot. You’re a parasite.
And I’m real damn tired of parasites pretending they’re defending “traditional values” while they suck the life out of everything sacred about this country.
So When They Say “Illegals”…
When some Fox-fed keyboard warrior with a bald eagle screensaver and an Alex Jones supplement addiction hurls the word “illegals” like it’s a slur that makes them feel strong, just know this: they’re not mad about the law. They’re mad the mirror’s showing them the truth.
The Statue of Liberty says:
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”
But modern Republicans say:
“Only if they look like Brett, talk like Tucker, and vote like Hitler’s ghost with a Jesus bumper sticker.”
That’s not patriotism. That’s cosplay fascism. And Funkytown ain’t handing out candy for that costume.
America Was Never White. It Was Never Christian. It Was Never Pure.
What it was—and still is, when we get it right—is a mess of ideas, languages, skin tones, cuisines, faiths, dreams, and contradictions.
That’s what made it powerful. That’s what made it possible.
And that’s what has the fascists so goddamn scared.
When people chant “build the wall,” what they mean is:
“Keep out the proof that our version of America is a lie.”
Because if someone can cross the desert, survive cartels, evade border patrol, feed a family on pennies, and still show up at work on time—then your trust-fund-fueled superiority complex looks a whole lot shakier, doesn’t it?
If America Had to Pass a Background Check, It Wouldn’t Get In
Founded in genocide? Check.
Built on slavery? Check.
Expanded through war and broken treaties? Check.
Responsible for toppling democracies abroad while preaching freedom at home? Check.
America’s rap sheet is longer than an ICE detention center’s roll call.
But you want to play immigration cop from your gated community in the suburbs?
You don’t give a damn about legality.
You give a damn about control.
Let’s Get One Thing Straight: Humans Aren’t Illegal
Your bigotry is.
Your dehumanization is.
Your smug, gated moral superiority is.
No human being is illegal. Period. End of story. End of America if we keep pretending otherwise.
The only thing that should be illegal is stripping people of their dignity for daring to exist outside your fantasy version of Mayberry, USA.
You Can’t Deport the Truth
Try as you might, you can’t round up reality and throw it in a van.
You can’t arrest the fact that your ancestors were immigrants.
You can’t detain the knowledge that America was never yours alone.
And you sure as hell can’t build a wall high enough to block the truth that’s coming for you—brick by racist brick.
Final Word from the Mayor
If you're still using the word “illegals,” then this ain’t your country anymore.
Because Funkytown is not a sanctuary for ignorance.
It’s a celebration of truth, justice, and real-ass freedom—the kind that doesn’t come with a non-refundable security deposit for whiteness.
🚨 Call to Action:
Speak up. Shut it down. Correct the language. Burn the dog whistles.
Let them know that this generation isn’t here to play pretend patriot.
We’re here to rebuild America on truth, not terror.
#NoHumanIsIllegal #ImmigrantsBuiltThis #FunkytownDispatch #TruthOverTerror #WhitewashedHistorySucks #VelvetRopeRevolution #TheMayorHasSpoken