“Is This Motherfucker For Real?”: The Mayor Weighs In on Trump’s Constitutional Amnesia

By: The Mayor of Funkytown — Patron Saint of Raised Fists, Velvet Ropes, and Calling Bullshit When Bullshit Shows Up Wearing a Diaper

Let’s talk about what we all saw on Meet the Press yesterday. The sitting President of the United States — yes, still Donald J. Trump in 2025, because history apparently took a bottle of Ambien and a nose dive into the toilet — was asked the most basic, foundational question a president can be asked:

“Is it your job to uphold the Constitution?”

And this diaper-wearing disgrace to democracy, with the dead eyes of a man who’s never read more than three pages of anything without pictures, shrugged and said: “I don’t know.”

I. Don’t. Know.

Are you fucking kidding me?

This man has taken the presidential oath twice, which, in case he’s misplaced it behind his ego and legal bills, reads:

“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

Preserve. Protect. Defend. That is your job, Donnie. It’s literally the one thing the job description doesn’t leave up to interpretation. You could forget where the White House bathrooms are, and we’d let it slide. But this? This is a full-blown constitutional crisis wrapped in an adult diaper.

And spare me the excuses — this wasn’t a gotcha question. This wasn’t someone springing arcane policy on him or asking for the GDP of Uzbekistan. It was a softball lobbed into a wide-open net, and he bricked it with the grace of a narcoleptic flamingo.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t just incompetence. It’s contempt.

Trump doesn’t just misunderstand the Constitution — he resents it. It’s an inconvenience to him. A speed bump on the road to unchecked power. He doesn't want to preserve, protect, or defend it. He wants to rewrite it with a Sharpie and staple his face to the cover.

And the terrifying part? He's getting away with it.

You’d think that after January 6, after the impeachments, after the pardons-for-favors carnival, after using the Justice Department like his personal fixer squad, the bar couldn’t get any lower. But here we are, watching the sitting president look into a camera and act like the Constitution is a f***ing optional feature on the presidential model he ordered.

This is not a drill, folks. This is not a slip of the tongue or a senior moment. This is the President of the United States telling you — flat-out — that he doesn't feel bound by the very document that gives him the authority to govern. That he doesn't know, or doesn’t care, if he has to uphold the law.

And what happens next?

Will Congress grow a spine? Will the Supreme Court justices stop twiddling their gavels long enough to do something? Or will we just keep letting this man-child urinate on the rule of law while the rest of us keep mopping up behind him?

Because let’s be honest — the people enabling him aren’t confused. They’re complicit. Every Republican who refuses to call this out, every donor who keeps the money flowing, every voter who shrugs and says “he’s better than the alternative” — you own this. You are cosigning the erosion of democracy in real time.

And the media? They’re still playing the both-sides game like it’s 2015. Like we didn’t just live through four years of chaos, followed by another term that’s shaping up to be worse. They’re more interested in tone than truth. But let me tell you something: you don’t fact-check fascism with politeness.

What you do — what we must do — is fight like hell to make sure this doesn’t stand.

Because if the President of the United States can look at the Constitution and say, “I don’t know if I have to follow that,” then guess what? We no longer live in a democracy. We live in a fiefdom ruled by a man who measures loyalty by how loudly you cheer at his rallies and how many courtrooms you help him escape.

If Trump doesn’t know if it’s his job to uphold the Constitution, then it’s our job to remind him. Loudly. Relentlessly. With every protest sign, every ballot, every goddamn fiber of our civic souls.

Because if we let this slide, there’s no bottom. There’s no floor. Just a long fall into autocracy — and this time, the strongmen aren’t at our borders. They’re in the goddamn Oval Office.

So I’m saying this now, from the glitter-drenched soul of Funkytown to the hollowed-out husk of Washington, D.C.:

Get off your ass, America. The Constitution can’t defend itself — and the man holding the highest office in the land just told you he won’t either.

And to Trump: you may sit your ass behind the Resolute Desk, but you don’t own this country. You don’t own our values. You don’t get to treat the Constitution like toilet paper because it doesn’t flatter your bloated ego. And if you can’t be bothered to remember your oath, maybe it's time we remind you — through impeachment, indictment, or a goddamn landslide.

Funkytown stands on the side of the Constitution. Always.

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