EDITORIAL NOTE
Everything in this story that sounds like somebody got carried away writing a political satire comes from a 44-page report released September 3 by the U.S. Department of Labor’s Office of Inspector General. Investigators interviewed 53 current and former Labor Department employees and one employee from another federal agency, then reviewed more than 500 documents, images, and videos. The inspector general said its findings were based on a preponderance of the evidence, meaning investigators concluded the substantiated conduct was more likely than not to have occurred. (Office of Inspector General)
Former Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer was never interviewed for the investigation. Her interview was scheduled for April 21, 2026, but she resigned April 20, and her attorney later declined to make her available. The inspector general ultimately concluded that her conduct was inconsistent with applicable standards across six separate areas. (Office of Inspector General)
HAPPY LABOR DAY
There are plenty of ways to celebrate Labor Day. Cook something outside, sleep late, or spend twenty minutes wondering why mattress companies apparently consider this the Super Bowl. Or you could read the federal government’s newly released account of how the woman who ran the Department of Labor treated the people who worked for her.
Thirty-eight witnesses described the Office of the Secretary under Chavez-DeRemer and senior aides as “toxic, intimidating and humiliating.” Employees described public discussions of coworkers’ performance problems, threats of firing, widespread fear about job security and meetings they called “beatdowns.” Some staff also said leadership openly investigated employees suspected of talking to the press and warned that speaking to reporters could cost them their jobs. (Office of Inspector General)
During the 43-day government shutdown in 2025, chief of staff Jihun Han ordered one furloughed employee into the office even though employees had been told not to work or report there. The employee waited nearly an hour, was reprimanded over personal social-media posts made while furloughed, and was told to write an apology asking Chavez-DeRemer for permission to keep the job. The employee kept the position but told investigators the experience was humiliating. (Office of Inspector General)
This office is responsible for advancing the interests of American workers, job seekers, and retirees. It also oversees enforcement involving workplace safety, fair compensation, and employee benefits. That makes the timing of this report just about perfect. (Office of Inspector General)
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SOMEBODY HAD TO HANDLE THE PURSES
The closet might be the cleanest illustration of what went wrong because there isn’t much room for interpretation. Investigators found that Chavez-DeRemer directed her personal aide and executive assistant to use Labor Department motor-pool transportation during the workday to go to her private residence. Their assignment was to organize her bedroom closet. (Office of Inspector General)
They hung laundry and dry cleaning, then organized her clothing, shoes, and purses. When the job was finished, the employees sent Chavez-DeRemer a video documenting their work. The inspector general actually included still images from that video in the report, because apparently even federal misconduct now comes with before-and-after footage. (Office of Inspector General)
The errands didn’t stop with the closet. During the government shutdown, Chavez-DeRemer directed a federal employee to retrieve roughly eight personal packages from her residential mailroom. In contrast, other employees were sent to buy picture frames, holiday ornaments, gifts, alcohol, and wine. Another employee was directed to oversee movers at Chavez-DeRemer’s residence and later arrange cleaning services with her house cleaner. (Office of Inspector General)
Federal ethics rules prohibit supervisors from directing subordinates to use official time for personal activities. The inspector general concluded that Chavez-DeRemer repeatedly violated those standards by using employees and government resources for tasks outside their official duties. Those tasks included organizing her belongings, fetching packages, shopping, overseeing movers and dealing with household service providers. (Office of Inspector General)
Apparently “other duties as assigned” finally found its natural predator.
THE AFTERNOON DRINKING CLUB
Investigators also examined allegations that Chavez-DeRemer, Han and deputy chief of staff Rebecca Wright regularly stored and drank alcohol on Labor Department property during working hours. Witnesses said the three drank in Chavez-DeRemer’s study and sometimes pressured employees who declined to participate or ridiculed them for abstaining. Investigators reviewed surveillance and documentary evidence and said they directly observed bottles in spaces used or controlled by the officials. (Office of Inspector General)
Alcohol can be permitted on Labor Department property for appropriate official purposes, but the rules require advance written authorization. The inspector general searched security records covering Chavez-DeRemer’s tenure and found no such approval. The head of the department’s security center also confirmed that no written authorization was on file. (Office of Inspector General)
So the federal agency responsible for workplace standards had senior leadership allegedly running a workplace where employees could be mocked for declining a drink with the boss. That isn’t a complicated ethics puzzle. Most people figured that one out sometime before their first management job.
THEN THERE WAS THE OREGON TRIP
During personal travel to Oregon in April 2025, Chavez-DeRemer requested an off-the-record stop at an establishment that agents discovered upon entering featured partially nude dancers. She then took money from her purse, handed it to an agent, and instructed him to give it to a performer. When the agent resisted and sought guidance from his supervisor, he was told to follow her instructions. (Office of Inspector General)
Chavez-DeRemer then produced more money and directed the agent to drop the bills one at a time onto the partially nude woman. He hesitated again, sought guidance again, and ultimately complied against his wishes. According to the report, the supervising protective agent later told him not to discuss what happened, although the supervisor himself reported the incident the following day. (Office of Inspector General)
The inspector general also concluded that Chavez-DeRemer developed an “inappropriately close and unprofessional relationship” with that supervisory protective agent while he exercised authority over her security detail. The report specifically says investigators did not find enough direct evidence to establish that the relationship was romantic or sexual. That distinction matters because the documented behavior is plenty bad without decorating it with something investigators couldn’t prove. (Office of Inspector General)
APPARENTLY VEGAS NEEDED AN OFFICIAL REASON
Travel became another problem. Eleven witnesses said official engagements were added to itineraries for destinations Chavez-DeRemer and Wright intended to visit for personal reasons so Labor Department funds could cover the travel. Witnesses identified at least 13 trips involving places where Chavez-DeRemer had family or personal residences, along with five trips to Las Vegas. (Office of Inspector General)
One Las Vegas trip began with no Labor Department engagements. After Chavez-DeRemer and Wright received complimentary rodeo tickets from a lobbyist, a previously scheduled Western Caucus speaking appearance assigned to another official was reassigned to Chavez-DeRemer, which investigators said apparently created an official-business justification for the trip. The inspector general concluded that Chavez-DeRemer and Wright improperly combined personal and official travel. (Office of Inspector General)
There were gifts too. Investigators found several that were missing from the department’s gift-tracking system, including rodeo tickets, cowboy hats, a scarf, work boots, baby gifts, and an alligator-hide wallet valued at about $200. Chavez-DeRemer had completed Labor Department ethics training before accepting several of the items. (Office of Inspector General)
When the ethics investigation gets to the alligator-hide wallet, the meeting has officially gone sideways.
THE INTERVIEW THAT NEVER HAPPENED
The inspector general scheduled Chavez-DeRemer’s interview for April 21, 2026. She resigned April 20, and her attorney subsequently declined to make her available. The other officials involved had also left federal service by the time investigators completed the report. (Office of Inspector General)
That timing doesn’t prove why Chavez-DeRemer resigned, and the inspector general explicitly said the departures occurred before the investigation was completed and did not result from the report’s findings. That caveat belongs here because facts don’t become optional merely because the calendar looks terrible. Still, the calendar looks terrible. (Office of Inspector General)
Interview Tuesday.
Resignation Monday.
THE CLOSET IS THE STORY
The salacious version of this story is obvious. There are dancers, alcohol, Vegas, hotel records, and an allegedly inappropriate relationship, which is more than enough material to keep cable television occupied until somebody famous says something stupid on Tuesday.
But the closet is worse because the closet tells you how power worked on an ordinary day.
So do the packages, the shopping trips and the house cleaner. So does the furloughed employee summoned into the office and made to ask permission to keep a job. So do the 38 witnesses who independently described the workplace as toxic, intimidating and humiliating. (Office of Inspector General)
This wasn’t some random company with a terrible boss and an HR department hiding under the conference table. It was the Department of Labor, whose own inspector general says its top official repeatedly used subordinate employees for personal tasks while overseeing an office where workers described fear, humiliation, and intimidation. The irony is almost too neat. (Office of Inspector General)
You don’t need a Republican explanation or a Democratic explanation for that. You don’t need a red hat, a blue hat, or six people yelling at one another on television. Your boss shouldn’t send you home to organize her purses while you’re being paid by the taxpayer.
Especially when your boss is the Secretary of Labor.
Especially on Labor Day.
FROM OFF SCRIPT: THE BULLSHIT DETECTOR
Four claims making the rounds. Four trips through the machine.
THE CLAIM:
House Speaker Mike Johnson punished Rep. Jasmine Crockett by moving her congressional office into a windowless filing room in the basement of the Rayburn Building.
Bullshit.
Why: It never happened. The story originated with a satire network whose own material carries disclaimers saying it isn’t real, and no credible news organization reported that Johnson moved Crockett’s office. Somewhere between the satire page and everybody’s Facebook feed, the joke lost its warning label and became “news.” (Lead Stories)
THE CLAIM:
A disturbing video circulating online shows children and a pregnant woman locked in cages in footage released from the Jeffrey Epstein files.
Bullshit.
Why: The footage came from a horror production posted to YouTube in 2025, not the Epstein files. The Justice Department’s Epstein Library uses identifiable file numbers, and the video isn’t associated with any of them. The original horror video eventually includes a giant humanoid rat on a hamster wheel, which probably should have been a clue. (Lead Stories)
THE CLAIM:
The suspect in the September 2 Minneapolis mass shooting was a transgender woman named Samantha Hyde.
Bullshit.
Why: Minnesota authorities identified the suspected shooter as 35-year-old Carlton Neal Johnson II. The circulating “Samantha Hyde” image showed signs of digital alteration and was another variation on the long-running Sam Hyde hoax that gets recycled after major shootings. Turning a real shooting into instant culture-war fan fiction apparently remains one of the internet’s most durable hobbies. (Lead Stories)
THE CLAIM:
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said, “Under capitalism, man oppresses man. Under socialism, it’s the other way round.”
Bullshit.
Why: There’s no evidence Ocasio-Cortez ever said it. Searches of credible reporting found no record of the quote coming from her, and versions of the line existed long before she entered Congress. It’s an old joke with a new name pasted underneath it, which is apparently all a quotation needs on social media. (Lead Stories)
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Lotus Purrspective: Daily life, household management and continuing documentation of everything her human is doing incorrectly, according to the only authority that matters.
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ONE QUESTION BEFORE YOU GO
What’s the most ridiculous thing a boss has ever asked you to do that had absolutely nothing to do with your job?
I have a feeling the comments on this one could become their own article.
ONE LAST THING
Workers don’t need a federal holiday to tell them their labor matters. They need managers who remember it the other 364 days of the year. Judging from this report, somebody at the Department of Labor could have used the reminder.
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