Trump’s Own Judges Dragged Him in Court for His ‘Big Lie’ Meltdown
By The Unredacted Bastard | Truth-Teller • Chaos Wrangler • Enemy of Bullshit
Alright, grab a drink and take notes — because this is a masterclass in how to make a federal lawsuit look like a clown car crash.
Donald Trump filed a $475 million lawsuit against CNN for calling his election denialism “the Big Lie.” Yes, you read that correctly—the Big Lie. And yes, he thought calling it a lie somehow made him Hitler-adjacent, which he assumed was actionable. I’m not making this up — he made the claim. You could almost hear a record scratch and a rimshot in the background.
“If you call my lie a Big Lie, you’re calling me Hitler, give me half a billion dollars.”
— Donald Trump, Esq. (and the world’s most literal snowflake)
That’s the kind of logic that belongs in a Kafka short story or a five-minute comedy set where the punchline is: “and the audience collectively facepalmed.”
The Court’s Response? A Brutal, Legal ‘Are You Kidding Me?’
Three federal appeals court judges — including two Trump appointees — took one look at this lawsuit and basically handed Trump a diploma in humiliation studies. They called the case:
“Unpersuasive”
“Untenable”
And the most delicious word of all: “Meritless.”
💣 Truth Bomb #1: When your own judges say your case is as structurally sound as a wet paper towel, it’s time to quit lawyering and maybe take up knitting.
Even Judge Raag Singhal, the Trump-appointed district judge who dismissed the case last year, basically shrugged in legalese: “bad rhetoric is not defamation.” Translation: “Donnie, I’ve seen toddlers construct better arguments with Play-Doh.”
Breaking Down the Smackdown
Let’s get into the details, professor-style, with some stand-up seasoning:
Calling something “the Big Lie” = an opinion, protected speech. That’s like me saying your cooking smells weird — not actionable.
Feeling patriotic doesn’t magically make you not full of shit. Sorry, Don.
CNN never compared him to Hitler. The only person who did that mental gymnastics? Trump himself.
The court called his argument a “stacking of inferences,” which is polite legalese for:
“This guy did a backflip off logic mountain and landed squarely on his own ass.”
💣 Truth Bomb #2: If even your own appointees are eye-rolling so hard they might fracture their optic nerves, maybe it’s time to stop suing everyone and anything.
Trump’s Lawsuit Habit: Collecting Defeats Like Bad Golf Hats
This is just the latest in his collection of legal faceplants:
A $15 billion lawsuit against The New York Times is tossed for irrelevance.
Sued the Wall Street Journal over Epstein coverage.
Flipped out at CBS for editing out his rambling monologues.
Pattern recognition 101: Trump sues → court laughs → case dies → Trump blames everyone but himself → repeat. It’s like watching a toddler repeatedly throw spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks — except the spaghetti is billions of dollars and the wall is the U.S. legal system.
💣 Truth Bomb #3: Calling Lies “Lies” Isn’t Defamation
Let’s cut through the bullshit:
CNN called Trump’s election denialism “the Big Lie.” That’s journalism. It’s literally their job to tell the truth.
And the only person who turned this into a Hitler comparison? Trump. He stacked the dominoes, then cried that they fell.
“Sir… the dominoes are your fault.”
— Also probably every judge who’s ever looked at him
The Sweetest Part
His nightmare scenario actually came true: his own judges sided with reality. Even the ones he personally appointed couldn’t bend over backward far enough to save him.
Reality snapped back. Law snapped back. And Trump got the legal equivalent of a dunk tank drop, fully clothed, with his ego submerged in court records.
Final Word
This isn’t just a lawsuit getting tossed. It’s a reminder that no matter how many times Trump tries to weaponize the courts to punish journalists for telling the truth, the law — and basic common sense — still exists.
So yeah, laugh at the absurdity. Rage at the audacity. But remember: the system works sometimes, and the judges just did all of us a solid.
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