Tom Hicks | November 10, 2026

There are moments when I genuinely wonder whether the people running this country have suffered some kind of collective head injury. Last Tuesday was one of them, although the symptoms didn’t become obvious until Washington started explaining what it had learned.

American voters delivered a message loud enough to rattle the Capitol windows. Republicans lost both chambers of Congress, and Democrats won seats in places where their candidates once had about as much chance as a snowball in a Florida parking lot.

The voters were pissed. They made it unmistakably clear.

So how did Washington respond? Republicans started fighting over who gets to lead the losers. Democrats began arguing about what winning means. And Donald Trump, apparently convinced Americans hadn’t experienced nearly enough political warfare, put Stephen Miller in charge of the White House.

Jesus Christ. Three separate dumpster fires competing for the same fire extinguisher.

TRUMP STEPPED ON HIS OWN DICK. THEN BLAMED THE SIDEWALK.

Let’s begin with what may be the most spectacularly tone-deaf personnel decision since somebody decided New Coke was a good idea.

Donald Trump replaced Susie Wiles as White House chief of staff with Stephen Miller. Yes, that Stephen Miller, the architect of some of the administration’s harshest immigration policies, whose political philosophy often seems to begin with finding someone to punish and working backward to establish the paperwork.

Trump had just watched Republicans suffer an electoral ass-kicking, with immigration enforcement contributing to the backlash. His response was to promote one of the people most closely associated with those policies.

That’s like responding to a five-alarm fire by hiring the arsonist as fire chief.

Donald Trump and Stephen Miller in the Oval Office, August 2026. Photo: Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images.

I’ll give Miller this much: he’s smart, disciplined, knows the machinery of government, and understands precisely what Trump wants. Underestimating him would be foolish. He’s been effective at advancing the president’s agenda, which is precisely why this appointment should worry anyone hoping Trump might reconsider his approach.

But being an ideological enforcer and running the White House are different jobs. A chief of staff must manage competing personalities, negotiate with Congress, recognize political reality, and occasionally tell the president something he doesn’t want to hear. Miller has built his reputation on confrontation, and he’s taking over just as cooperation becomes more important.

Republican Sen. Thom Tillis called him the “worst of all possible choices.” Other Republicans, including JD Vance and several Cabinet officials, celebrated the appointment. So the party isn’t united in opposition, but the disagreement tells us plenty about its predicament.

And here’s the really ridiculous part. Trump recently acknowledged on 60 Minutes that his immigration crackdown might have been too tough. He even suggested there could be room for an agreement with Democrats.

Then he promoted Stephen Miller.

That’s like announcing you’re going on a diet and immediately appointing the Pillsbury Doughboy as your personal trainer.

Maybe Trump believes Miller can help him negotiate with a Democratic Congress. Maybe he intends to spend the next two years fighting everyone who disagrees with him. Either way, he may have stepped on his own dick so hard he’ll be walking funny until the next election.

If you enjoy political commentary that doesn’t require checking your common sense at the door, subscribe to Off Script. The bullshit isn’t going anywhere. Neither am I.

REPUBLICANS ARE FIGHTING OVER WHO GETS TO DRIVE THE WRECK.

House Republicans are choosing between Steve Scalise and Jim Jordan for minority leader. Scalise promises stability. Jordan promises change.

Jim Jordan. Change.

The man has been in Congress since 2007. That’s like finding a carton of milk from the Bush administration in the back of your refrigerator and advertising it as farm-fresh.

Jordan says Republicans need a fighter who can challenge Democrats and rebuild the party. Which raises an interesting question: haven’t Republicans spent the last several years fighting everybody?

Democrats, journalists, universities, federal employees, their own colleagues, and occasionally reality itself have all taken turns in the Republican punching bag. After voters rejected that approach, the proposed solution is apparently to fight harder.

Jim Jordan and Steve Scalise during an earlier Republican leadership battle in 2023. Archival photograph.

Scalise, meanwhile, promises discipline, teamwork, and accountability. Wonderful. Where the hell was all that when Republicans controlled the White House and both chambers of Congress?

They had an opportunity to demonstrate that their policies could improve Americans’ lives. Instead, voters watched an unpopular war, economic anxiety, immigration controversies, and a government seemingly addicted to confrontation.

Now the party wants a new captain. Somebody might mention that the ship has already hit the iceberg and Jim Jordan is standing on the bridge promising to punch the ocean.

DEMOCRATS, DON’T YOU DARE GET SMUG.

Before Democrats start ordering champagne by the truckload, we need to have a conversation. You won. Big. Congratulations. Now comes the part where you have to do something with it.

Some incoming progressives are already questioning whether Hakeem Jeffries deserves their support for speaker, seeking commitments on Medicare for All, housing, and military policy. Those are legitimate priorities, but there’s a difference between negotiating an agenda and holding your own leadership hostage before the furniture arrives.

Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries at the Capitol, May 21, 2026. Photo: Win McNamee/Getty Images.

The Democratic majority includes progressives, moderates, and members elected in competitive districts. That’s what happens when you build a broad coalition. You don’t get 254 identical Democrats delivered in matching boxes with assembly instructions.

Chuck Schumer has his own headaches, with some progressives calling for his replacement despite the enormous Senate gains. Leadership should absolutely be questioned, but Democrats need to remember that an election victory is an opportunity, not a lifetime achievement award.

Voters want results: lower costs, a functioning government, accountability, and some assurance that Washington understands what ordinary Americans are dealing with. If Democrats mistake a rejection of Trump for unconditional approval of everything on their wish list, they’ll discover how quickly voters can change their minds.

Ask the Republicans. They’ve recently become experts.

THE PART THAT ISN’T FUNNY

While Washington’s political class measures its own importance, some genuinely consequential decisions are approaching.

Government funding expires after December 11, and the Iran war remains a major political and economic problem. Democrats are considering whether to refuse additional war funding, increasing the possibility of another shutdown.

Sen. Michael Bennet wants Democrats to refuse to advance any funding package containing more money for Trump’s war. Congress has every right to challenge military spending, particularly when the public is questioning the conflict. But a shutdown carries consequences for federal employees, government services, families, and businesses.

And while politicians argue about who blinked first, ordinary Americans are left wondering why the people they pay to run the government can’t keep the damn thing open.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth testifies before the Senate Armed Services Committee, April 30, 2026. Photo: Graeme Sloan/Getty Images.

Republican Thomas Massie is also moving toward forcing a House vote on impeaching Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, another potential explosion with the Iran war already dividing Congress.

Then there’s Trump’s reported call for Justice Department investigations of Democratic lawmakers over their plans for congressional oversight.

Congressional oversight isn’t some exotic Democratic invention discovered in a secret basement beneath Nancy Pelosi’s house. It’s part of how the government is supposed to function. If Democrats abuse their authority, hold them accountable. But threatening investigations because lawmakers intend to scrutinize the administration is a dangerous precedent.

With Miller now running the White House staff, I wouldn’t bet the grocery money on a sudden outbreak of bipartisan cooperation.

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If somebody you know thinks Washington finally learned its lesson, send them this article. They deserve a warning.

THE ELECTION WASN’T A SUGGESTION BOX.

Politicians have developed an extraordinary talent for interpreting elections as confirmation of whatever they already believed.

Republicans lose? They weren’t conservative enough. Democrats win? Every progressive proposal suddenly has a national mandate. Trump gets hammered politically? Promote Stephen Miller.

Everybody hears the voters. Nobody seems particularly interested in listening.

The results suggest a country worried about its economic future, exhausted by political warfare, and increasingly skeptical of an administration that treats confrontation as a governing philosophy. That doesn’t mean every American wants the same policies. It means politicians might consider the possibility that winning arguments on television isn’t the same thing as improving people’s lives.

A family struggling with groceries doesn’t care whether Jim Jordan delivers a devastating sound bite on cable news. Someone worried about health insurance isn’t losing sleep over whether Jeffries has satisfied every faction of his caucus. And a federal worker facing another shutdown probably isn’t thrilled that Trump has found himself a new political attack dog.

People want a government that works.

What a radical fucking concept.

THE BULLSHIT DETECTOR

Three fresh servings from the misinformation buffet. Apparently, somebody keeps refilling the trays.

THE STINK SCALE

💩 A Little Whiff
💩💩 Something Smells
💩💩💩 Steaming Pile
💩💩💩💩 Full-Blown Bullshit
💩💩💩💩💩 Weapons-Grade Bullshit

CLAIM #1: Senator-elect Abdul El-Sayed failed a security clearance background check.

BULLSHIT: 💩💩💩💩💩

Why: The story circulating online is fabricated. Members of Congress don’t need security clearances to receive classified briefings, so the supposed failed background check makes about as much sense as claiming a newly elected senator failed the driving test for his congressional parking space.

Somebody invented a scandal without bothering to learn how Congress works. Apparently, research is optional when you’re manufacturing outrage.

CLAIM #2: Nicki Minaj deleted her Instagram account because Democrats swept the midterms.

BULLSHIT: 💩💩💩💩

Why: Her account had already been unavailable since 2025. The supposed post-election meltdown was manufactured by people who apparently believe chronology is a liberal conspiracy.

You can’t dramatically quit Instagram over an election that hasn’t happened yet. Unless Nicki Minaj owns a time machine, in which case I have several questions about her investment portfolio.

CLAIM #3: The Eiffel Tower and Colosseum turned blue to celebrate Democratic victories.

BULLSHIT: 💩💩💩💩

Why: Those viral images were fake. Neither landmark staged the purported election-night tribute.

Apparently, winning Congress wasn’t enough. Somebody needed to convince the internet that Europe had thrown a giant Democratic gender-reveal party.

And people shared it. Because nothing says I carefully evaluate information quite like believing the Eiffel Tower has become a precinct captain.

ONE QUESTION

When voters deliver a landslide rejection of the governing party, how much responsibility does that party have to change course? And how much responsibility does the winning party have to recognize that rejecting one side doesn’t mean embracing everything the other believes?

Washington seems determined to avoid both questions.

THE BOTTOM LINE

I don’t expect Republicans to suddenly become Democrats, Democrats to abandon their principles, or Donald Trump to wake up tomorrow, discover humility, and invite Chuck Schumer over for cucumber sandwiches.

But I do expect elected officials to recognize when the country is telling them something important.

Last Tuesday, Americans delivered a political earthquake. Republicans are fighting over the rubble, Democrats are arguing about the rebuilding plans, and Trump just handed Stephen Miller a bigger shovel.

If this is what Washington considers learning from its mistakes, God help us when it takes the final exam.

KEEP READING TOM HICKS MEDIA

For more political commentary and investigations, visit Off Script / Blind Spot. For a different kind of insanity, there’s What the Hell?, where history regularly proves that reality has been drunk for centuries. And when the political circus becomes unbearable, Lotus Purrspective offers observations from a cat with considerably more common sense than most members of Congress.

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ONE LAST QUESTION:

Which worries you more: Republicans refusing to change, Democrats getting ahead of themselves, or Trump putting Stephen Miller in charge?

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WASHINGTON GOT ITS ASS KICKED. APPARENTLY, IT…